I would arrive at the Chinatown Kaiser in the morning, never sure if I was allowed to park in the visitors’ spots. I mean, I’d be leaving later that day so why not? The last time I was there I was solidly, undeniably a patient, unable to leave the Unit III floor without an escort … Continue reading Partial Hospitalization, Part 1
In April of 2011, I was finishing up my MLIS and preparing to transition to working full-time in the office where I had been a student employee for two years. I knew that the level of anxiety that I had reached on a day-to-day basis would make my work there useless, so I thought I'd … Continue reading Being Sick but Being Good At It
That's what I'm calling the month of March 26-April 20. Or maybe "Girl, FUCKING Interrupted AGAIN UGH". Anyway. I thought I'd sort of write up a quick heads up, just in case I'm not around much...or am around way too much. I'm not sure which way I'll go. I am already a VERY frequent user … Continue reading Girl, Perpetually Interrupted
If you're uncomfortable with reading about self-harm and/or really bad depression... there's some pretty funny stuff up on McSweeney's today, maybe check that out instead of this. Otherwise...I have three scars on my left wrist- two on the inside and one on the outside- that are just over a month or so old. There's another, … Continue reading How I Got “Those Scars”
When you're in the middle of a white drug-like spell of anxiety or a weighty cloud of depression, it's hard to see outside of your own world. Getting out of bed its a herculean effort. Answering emails takes at least a couple minutes of psyching yourself up. Depression and anxiety are very solitary experiences. You don't … Continue reading It’s Not Just About Me
A year ago yesterday, I went to the Grove for the first time since I was a junior in college. That morning, one of my best friends and I went to get coffee the morning after making the mistake of mixing cheap vodka will Red Bull, in a way that only 20 year old undergrads … Continue reading Carrie, a Year Later
This is just a long, rambling reflection of the past year. It's really self-indulgent and probably isn't very insightful. I'm writing it down anyway. One year ago tonight I came home from The Abbey, where the Human Rights Campaign was having their official Los Angeles election party (obvs). But the more states that reported back, … Continue reading One Year Later
I've been rolling this idea around in my head for a couple of months now. I just don't know exactly what to write, and I want to get it right. But in some sort of irony-adjacent twist, I can't think of the words that would describe it correctly. Stuttering has been described thousands of times. … Continue reading Something About Speaking
It is 12:02 on Monday morning, which means technically today is my next ect appointment. It also means that I'm two minutes into my required pre-knockout fast, which would be a lot easier if I had done the smart thing and gone to bed a couple of hours ago and just slept through it, but … Continue reading The Night Before
I go on Twitter for two reasons: to get angry about the news, and to find comedy that helps me forget about the news. Somewhere in there, I started following Robin Williams’ daughter, Zelda. She’s a big advocate for mental health, and that, of course, makes her a good target for trolls. Trolls like Andrew … Continue reading I Believe You
