There are three kinds of people that you see when you're in a crisis. The Helpers These people arrived. They dropped everything and did anything. Answered my calls from the hospital. Drove me to ECT. Listened to me lament about forgetting restaurants, and forgave me when I couldn't remember pivotal events from our relationship. They … Continue reading I Saw You
Sure this year hasn't been great, but we're still fairly early in the Willenium so keep going, friends. Does anyone know what the Pelaton lady from last year did with her bike? Cuz I'd like to buy one but don't want to pay full price.When I or someone near me says "Question" I wait to … Continue reading Road Trip Thoughts.
On September 25, 2017, I wrote this comment in response to a post on a ~lifestyle~ blog I follow: I’m way late to this, but this post has been rolling around in my head for the past few months and I just had to say something. Of course I don’t know specifically what you’re dealing … Continue reading Quick note to three years ago me
With apologies for the timing of this, given the entire garbage fire that is the world. But hey, my blog, my blog. I'm giving myself a minute to be self involved. Hi, hello. Welcome. I've written- give or take- forty seven billion blog posts here. All about the bad days, the good days...unrelated anythings, all … Continue reading Mental Illness is Gross Sometimes
This is a hard one and while it's taking me awhile to articulate it correctly, I'm physically incapable of not at least trying to write it all out (see also: my entire online history). Like when Opus the penguin discovers he doesn't need to fly to be an important bird, I discovered that while I … Continue reading The In-Between Post
I'm writing from my bedroom, the only place in the house that doesn't give me anxiety. But it's a tradeoff, because this is absolutely an incubation space for depression. The same view, the same mess, the same routine. It is mind-numbingly boring. But that's not the main event. It's just opened up space in my … Continue reading Depression in the time of Coronavirus
I saw Cats! today. Aside from teaching myself the opening notes to Memories on my parents' grand piano (brag), I know nothing about Cats!. I almost typed that I knew nothing about Cats!, but having spent the past hour + watching the movie, I still know nothing about Cats!. I do know, however, that the … Continue reading And Now for Something Completely Different- Cats! The Movie.
For the last three months, I have been tired. I mean fall-asleep-at-any-moment, can't-think-straight tired. At first I chalked it up to a sudden uptick in the "doing things" category of my life: conference in Florida, visits from friends, two weekend writing classes at once, getting sick, more travel, more people in town (PLEASE note, I … Continue reading I want to get off the ride, please. OCD and Why I’m Sleepy and Failing
I post a LOT on social media. I'd like to say it's for any one specific reason, but there are myriad of reasons that I over-post and over-share. I grew up staying quiet because of my stutter, so writing is the only way I know how to effectively communicate. And I get social anxiety, so … Continue reading A Burden
This has been a difficult week. I'm phasing out my Zoloft in favor of a non-SSRI drug that's mainly used for seizures and bipolar disorder, but we're trying it for depression because SSRIs have been a total bust so far. Also a guy was really shitty to me when I was being really vulnerable. And … Continue reading On Social Media